Inevitably, Laughter
by MaethoMixup
Summary: Social cues, conversation, the basics of human interaction- there was no one to explain these things to them. But maybe, together, they can learn. Kakashi/Sai
1. The Beginning

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto.

 **Warnings:** Kakashi/Sai, foul language, sexual themes.

 **-.-.-**

 **Inevitably, Laughter  
** By MaethoMixup

-.-.-

The Beginning

-.-.-

Kakashi blinked. He didn't know what else to do.

"That doesn't answer my question," Sai said blandly, waiting patiently in his chair in front of the Hokage's desk. He sat tall and stiff, seemingly unaffected by Kakashi's blank stare.

"Ah, no," was the brilliant response he finally formulated.

Sai nodded. "Then if you do not know how to ask a person on a date, perhaps you know how to best get them into the bedroom?"

This wasn't his area of expertise, Kakashi wanted to say. This wasn't usually why people scheduled appointments with the Hokage. Weren't there therapists for this? He grabbed at a random paper, looked at it for advice, and then put it down as if he had just gained some great knowledge.

It was a report on sewage water.

Kakashi wrinkled his face into a forced smile. Sai did the same.

"Perhaps Sakura would be a better person to talk to?" He ventured, hoping desperately.

A raised eyebrow followed his suggestion. "She was my first choice, sensei. She gave me this." Moving down his pants into an obscene angle, he displayed a bruise on his inner thigh.

Kakashi cringed, giving a sympathetic look. Several arguments had ended in him receiving similar bruises. "Must be someone she cares about then," he remarked. "Ino?"

A small shake of his head, black hair ruffling softly. "She is... not my type," He paused, leaning forwards now, giving Kakashi a gaze that unsettled him. "Will you not help me with my relationship issue?"

If he had been a lesser man, Kakashi would have squirmed. As it was, he was calculating his chances at fleeing. If he gave a signal to the Anbu guard on duty, he was still only guaranteed a slim opportunity to escape this awkward questioning.

"Oh, yes, well..." There was suppose to be a clever excuse to follow that start. Nothing came to him.

Sai nodded again, as if understanding his struggle for words. "I appreciate your kindness, sensei. Pick me up at fourteen hundred tomorrow then, if you're free."

Another blink.

Then, one more.

"What?"

Standing, Sai gave a small, respectful bow. "I look forward to our date, Hokage-sama." He turned sharply and left without further explanation for, well, anything that had just happened in the last ten minutes.

"What?" Kakashi asked again to an empty room, not knowing how he agreed to this and equally not sure if he was complaining about it.

* * *

 **A/N:** This chapter is super short, so I posted it along with the second one.

I hope you like it. It's been so long since I've been confident in my writing. Let me know what you think!


	2. The Date

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto.

 **Warnings:** Kakashi/Sai, foul language, sexual themes.

 **-.-.-**

 **Inevitably, Laughter  
** By MaethoMixup

-.-.-

The Date

-.-.-

Kakashi opened one of his eyes to see who was brave enough to intrude on his nap. This was an intense session of paperwork avoidance. This better be an emergency.

A long, half bare torso made of mature angles and sleek muscles blocked the sun from his face. He wasn't surprised to find Sai peering down at him, just disappointed that he hadn't been able to delay this meeting indefinitely.

"I thought the plan was for me to pick you up," he muttered plainly, pretending he had every intention to stick to their agreement. It wasn't as if he had meant yes when he had said the word. After all, it was spoken under duress! There were rules against giving consent while stressed or otherwise threatened, he was sure of it.

He conveniently ignored the fact that it was a bylaw in place for civilian misconduct and did not at all pertain to shinobi or social interactions in general. As Hokage, he vowed to change that. Except that sounded like more paperwork, and he already had three piles he was attempting to disguise as firewood.

"It is two hours past our scheduled meetup time," Sai politely informed him with an expression that was either insanely happy or incredibly annoyed. His smiles were deceptive, Kakashi didn't like the mystery, but how the sun hit his pale skin was distracting enough for him to momentarily forget why he should be worried.

"Ah," he said lamely, averting his eyes. "Is that so?"

He watched Sai's shadow sway as he sat down beside him on the rooftop. "Yes. I decided that finding you would be the best course of action."

"Maa, so impatient," he sung playfully with a chuckle.

Sai was scrutinizing him. It made him nervous, though he didn't know why. As if his body was waiting for something important. Goosebumps freckled his arms and he wished he could believably blame it on the breeze. He resisted the urge to smooth his shirt down to hide them.

Shuffling closer across the clay tiles, head tilting curiously, "Are you implying that you would have eventually showed up?"

"Why wouldn't I?" Was the reply that all his years of experience in deflection and misdirection accumulated to. Pathetic, he thought.

Then, without missing a beat, "Because you're a coward."

Nevermind. There it was. The _why_. Why he hated prolonged conversations with Sai. Why the man frayed his nerves in the worst ways. His uncanny ability to cut through bullshit.

Kakashi turned his head to glare at him. His smile was still there taunting him with its politeness.

"Are you hungry, sensei?"

He thought about lying. Something told him he shouldn't. Instincts, probably, tingling in the back of his mind. "I haven't eaten since breakfast."

"I see," Sai hopped to his feet and stretched a hand down for Kakashi to pull himself up with. "Come teach me how to woo, then."

Kakashi didn't take his hand, but he followed after him regardless, to prove he wasn't afraid of pretend dates or comments that hit too close to the truth.

-.-.-

The restaurant was a quaint hole in the wall establishment with more tables than there were patrons and a staff that weren't use to high profile guests, much less the Hokage himself. They knew Sai though, it seemed, which was the only reason Kakashi's conversation with the owner stayed short and mostly to the point.

It was only after he sat down and ordered food that he realized he had just walked into Sai's trap. He looked up sharpy at the other.

Sai paused with his cup halfway to his mouth. "Yes?"

"Ah," he trailed off, but clearly Sai expected an answer. "Just thinking."

"About?"

About how Sai had successfully roped him into this with an insult against his character. It was either a brilliant ploy or Kakashi was just a pitiful man. He didn't know which possibility scared him more.

"Nothing."

"I understand." Sai nodded sagely. "I do that as well."

So Kakashi nodded too, because he still didn't know how to properly respond to him and his words and that thrice damned quirk of his lips. He pulled at his jacket's collar, wondering why it was so hot inside this place when the windows were open with the overhead fans blowing at full blast.

They ate in silence but, at the end of dinner, Sai thanked him for all that he had taught him about dating during their meal. It made him feel like a sham. This wasn't supposed to be how it worked. Dates involved laughter and hidden touches and looks that said more than their voices. They were suppose to tease each other then, when the waiter came, there would be a fight over who would pay.

Their silence had been comfortable, but now Kakashi was doubting everything.

A small wave, then Sai walked into the crowded street, his dark silhouette disappearing before Kakashi could say goodbye.

"Goodbye," he said anyways, because it felt weird not to.

Kakashi went home confused and happy, but mostly just disappointed in himself.

-.-.-

"That wasn't a date," Kakashi admitted one week later, when Sai entered the teashop.

He wasn't pleased to see Sai's expression turn from pleasant to confused, his eyes squinting, analyzing. "Is that so?" Sai strode over to where Kakashi sat, taking the stool next to him without asking, crossing his legs and leaning his head lightly onto one of his hands as it balanced on the countertop.

"Yes." He left it at that because this had been a spur of the moment idea, and Kakashi wasn't a man who did things on a whim. Nothing about this second try came from a calculated decision. He had no plan. The note given to his messenger had been hastily scrawled and regretted immediately. _'Meet me, 8:00 pm.'_ And here Sai was, as punctual as ever despite the limited information he was given.

Kakashi ran a hand through his white hair, glancing to where the man waited patiently for him to continue. Correcting past mistakes was new territory for him, usually he was never given the chance. Now that he had the opportunity, he had no solution. Why Sai expected him to become a teacher again when Kakashi had failed so spectacularly the first time was beyond him. Why he wanted to try, well, curiosity was the likely culprit.

"Why did you thank me," he asked instead of explaining his original statement.

Sai blinked, then blinked again in rapid succession. To Kakashi, he looked surprised. "For teaching me how dating works," he said it like it was obvious.

"But what did you learn," Kakashi pressed further, because he knew their first foray into these lessons hadn't been even remotely educational.

"Dating is a form of courtship used to determine compatibility between two people."

He sighed. "You didn't learn that from me."

"No," Sai agreed. "That was from a book. You taught me how to judge suitable candidates."

"Ah, I see." Kakashi scratched at the back of his neck, feeling self conscious for the first time in years. "I'm glad my, ah, performance enlightened you on... that."

Heat, then a feather-like pressure against his shoulder. Sai had uncrossed his legs and was now facing the front, looking at the menu as if this sudden closeness was normal. From the elbow up, the dark black of their sleeves meshed together. Kakashi's spine went stiff, unsure whether to stay still or pull away. Hesitation due to knowing, distantly, that this soft touch could be a teaching moment.

Sai's voice distracted him from his dilemma. "A candidate is deemed acceptable if your time together is enjoyable. And I had," he paused to taste the word before speaking it. "Fun. As expected."

"Maa, we didn't do anything but eat," Kakashi corrected.

"Food is an essential part of romance." His response was punctuated with a meaningful lift of his menu and a shrug. Kakashi felt the movement more than saw it.

"Yeah, but," That wasn't a proper date. No jokes or exploration or even a proper goodbye when it was over. "There's more to it than that," he ended elusively.

The pressure at his side increased as Sai's body leaned against his, slightly, head dipping forward. Their eyes locked together, grey meeting slanted black. The suddenness sent him reeling. "Then I look forward to your lesson plan, sensei. Next Tuesday fine with you?"

Sai was too near, too pale, too curious- eyelashes fluttering too softly to be coincidental. "Uh, ah… yes?" He finally drawled out.

"Perfect. How late will you be?"

"I don't know?"

"I will pick you up then," Sai decided with a smile, moving back to sit properly in his chair.

Kakashi let out a long breath of relief before it hitched, finally computing what Sai had just said. "Ah, Sai?"

"Yes?"

He looked at him suspiciously. "What time?"

The way that smile widened made Kakashi want to curse.

"Sakura said mysterious men are the most interesting."

"So you're not allowing a repeat of last time?"

"No."

Kakashi looked up at the ceiling, wondering again how and _why_ he agreed to help Sai with his relationship issues when he had just as many of them himself. This was giving him a headache.

"You can't keep roping me into more dates," he warned.

"I didn't rope you into this one," Sai reminded him before ordering a beverage from the man behind the counter.

"No," Kakashi conceded. "That's true."

-.-.-

After finishing their tea and exiting the building, Kakashi grabbed Sai's arm before the man could leave. The light of the streetlamps suddenly tinted his cheeks pink, Kakashi noticed, intrigued.

Sai was doing that blinking thing again.

"Kakashi?"

"Have a good night," he said, forcing himself to smile.

He let go, and then stepped back. He may not be an expert at dating, but at least he hadn't messed this up a second time. Oddly, it made him feel accomplished.

"You…" Sai's sentence drifted into a slow exhale of air. His fingers twitched at his side.

"Goodnight," he finally responded, turning his face away quickly, then jumping to the rooftops.

Kakashi watched him go before doing the same, heading home.

* * *

 **A/N:** I hope you like this so far! Keeping my fingers crossed!


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